Dungeon Lords

They meet in a tavern. They quaff a few ales. Before the night is over, the strong warrior, the wily wizard, the committed priest and the sneaky thief form an inseparable party of adventurers, ready to rid the world of evil. And wouldn’t you know it? There just happens to be some evil within easy walking distance. A dark lord has filled a nearby hill with tunnels, traps, treasure, and trolls. And so the next morning (or the next afternoon if too many ales were quaffed) the heroes set out to fight for Right, conquer the dungeon, and punish the wicked lord (by taking all his treasure, of course). It’s a classic scenario, and any veteran dungeon crawler will tell you that’s the way things ought to be. But what about that dark lord? Does anyone ever think about his feelings? Those adventurers, who have never done an honest day’s work in their lives, can not begin to imagine how much effort goes into building a respectable dungeon. They have no idea how hard it is to tunnel through granite, how expensive good traps are these days, how difficult it is to find qualified imps, or how much food it takes to feed a troll. And the bureaucracy! Dungeons must meet rigid safety specifi cations, gold mining is subject to strict regulations, and taxes are due whenever the Ministry of Dungeons feels like it. And as soon as the dungeon is built, some band of do-gooders comes along and hacks everything up. Life is not easy for a dungeon lord.